ANGER ISSUES AND SILENT SUFFERING

Anger is a disease that hardly gets treated because a person with anger issues would never agree he has a serious problem or get help.  A lot of relationships get wrecked , a lot of women become victimized and undergo grave suffering due to her spouse’s temper tantrums and anger issues. When a divorce takes place or the wife leaves her spouse , it’s almost always considered as the woman’s fault, especially in Asian countries.  The sad part is the victim and the children of an angry parent  and their lives get severely affected.

Anger mostly is passed on from volatile personality of the parent(s) to the child. When a child is growing up, knowingly or unknowingly,  his parents become his role models. An angry man would have been raised in an atmosphere where there was emotional, verbal and or physical abuse, parent(s) who could not control their temper. If he had friends who were prone to anger and personality disorders,  that would have contributed to a volatile cocktail. He grows up into an adult thinking  throwing temper tantrums, being arrogant, aggressive, abusive or violent  can :

* Get what he wants, because others are scared and others will do what he asks of them

* Gain control over the less powerful or timid people around him

* Get his point across.

* Dominate and suppress the other person giving a great sadistic thrill or a sense of power.

* Punishing the vitcim by withdrawing, refusing to speak and showing neglect can get what he wants.

He cannot accept a 'No' for an answer. It’s what he wants that matters most.  When a person is angry, he goes to many disturbing extent to get what he wants, even if it means hurting those closest to him verbally or physically. When he is angry, no one or nothing matters, suddenly those concerned who he is dealing with becomes his ‘enemies’ and they are 'responsible' for his erratic behavior.  In order to get his ‘point’ or ‘wish’ across, he may even throw things, and break valuables. To an angry person, it’s always the other person’s fault, never his.  He likes to literally make his victim(s) feel that they are wrong and so deserve being ill-treated or humiliated or abused. Most angry people also involve in risky behaviour.

A lot of women silently suffer humiliation, abuse and insults at the hands of spouses who are habitually prone to anger.  Anger is all about power, it’s a game of power and control. A person is mostly in his senses and he chooses to ‘get angry’ to get what he wants.  He doesnot want to discuss, or take other's suggestions and views in a civil manner. The same angry person can have a totally different side to himself;  a charming, sweet spoken side, which he uses to manipulate others.  After an anger outbreak episode, he can be quite nice to the victim which makes the victim feel confused and actually accept his temper tantrums bringing herself to believe it’s her fault and she silently accepts and relents to his character ‘to make everything alright’. She is scared to 'piss him off'. What a victim should realize is,  It’s never alright and it will never be alright'. Anger based abuse is still abuse, no matter what. Either the perpetrator gets psychiatric help or the victim should get herself out of her destitution. People who have bi-polar disorder also exhibits the same patterns.

If someone  humiliates, screams, behaves nasty,  verbally puts you down,  scares you, or your views are looked down upon,  or abuses you,  break things etc., you have to realize it not healthy, its not right, you don't have to accept it,  and you deserve better.  Speaking up for yourself, protecting your interests, rights and your sanity of mind is of utmost importance. 

As for angry people, get help...sooner the better, don't hurt those around you and destroy their lives.