As people, we love sharing our feelings, our day to day life and happenings, good or bad with our family, relatives, friends and even co-workers. They do the same with us too. But what happens when you are amidst negative people or in a negative environment? How does it affect you? Do certain people or environments drain you of your energy, make you sad or upset? Do you find yourself participating in gossip, or listening to slander or constantly being subjected to others' laundry list of whining and complaints? And somehow you end up feeling bad or drained in the end.
People who are negative, who ever they might be, well, remember that these people are stuck with their negative attitude. They are accustomed to talking or behaving in a certain way for most of their life. This is all they know. They are habituated to it. They want to unburden their woes small or big, sometimes in hugely magnified form, onto others. May be they don't even know they are transferring their negativity on to others. No amount of sympathy, consolation or solutions you offer them, would change their attitude. They don't want a solution for their issues. They just need to unburden or lash out or pull you into their drama. Misery loves company, so negative people always target those who are patient listeners.
Negative people are of different kinds, whiners, constant complainers, the aggressive, the hostile, the passive aggressive, sarcastic, criticizing ones, drama king or queens.
Here are some interesting things I'll share and some useful tips for you, to keep your sanity, peace of mind and maintain a postive attitude.
1. Only you alone can decide what state of mind you want to be in.
2. You can't fix other people or their problems. Offer advice only if asked for. When their constant fretting and fuming or out pour of woes begin to bother your peace of mind, you have the choice to discontinue the conversation, change the subject, walk away, or think of a polite excuse.
3. If you participate or respond to other people's negative drama, you will get sucked into it and your peace of mind will be destroyed. It's their drama, you dont' have to participate.
4. With rude, condescending, aggressive, arrogant or sarcastic people, tell them politely how their behavior affects you and what they said was not right or respectful. Remember, their real problem is not you, it's them, it's their negative attitude and inability to interact with respect and courtesy. They are not able to rationally solve issues. In conflicting situations or when there is a difference of opinion, aggressive and arrogant people, constantly feel they need to fight a battle and win by verbal debates, put downs and attacks to protect their egos. You don't have to be a victim of anyone's emotional or verbal attacks. You don't have to be scared of anyone. Be assertive, respectful and express yourself without fear.
5. Don't judge someone by the gossip you hear or some assumptions you make. It may or may not be true or even blown out of proportion . You can judge people from your own experience of dealing with them.
6. Avoid people who are conniving or spread malice. If they are the plotting and scheming types or constantly talk ill about others to you, they certainly will talk ill about you to others.
7. When you gossip about other people, it's disrespectful towards them. If you have an issue or problem with someone, talk to the person concerned and let them know what you feel rather than gossiping about them.
8. It's nice to share and feel connected and help each other in emotional crisis. But when you deal with constant complainers and you feel drained or tired, it's time to avoid them or spend very less time with them. Nothing makes them happier than complaining. Constant complainers don't look for solutions or help, they just work on magnifying their problem, and complaining becomes a way of making a conversation with one sided enjoyment.
9. You cannot control or change other people, you cannot control certain situations. The only thing you can change is yourself, your views, and make wise choices. Choosing to feel and exercise positivity is a comittment, which you have to work on everyday. In every situation, you have the power to chose how to react or respond. Use this power to your advantage by being determined to think and feel positive and not let the negative things or people around you affect you.
10. If you want peace, think and feel peaceful thoughts. Surround yourself with positive people. Consciously nurture a positive attitude and stay away from all the negativity.