Anger is a disease that hardly gets treated because a
person with anger issues would never agree he has a serious problem or get help. A lot of relationships get wrecked , a lot of
women become victimized and undergo grave suffering due to her spouse’s temper tantrums
and anger issues. When a divorce takes place or the wife leaves her spouse , it’s
almost always considered as the woman’s fault, especially in Asian countries. The sad part is the victim and the children of
an angry parent and their lives get
severely affected.
Anger mostly is passed on from volatile personality of the
parent(s) to the child. When a child is growing up, knowingly or unknowingly, his parents become his role models. An angry man would have been raised in an atmosphere where there was emotional, verbal and or physical
abuse, parent(s) who could not control their temper. If he had friends who were prone to anger and personality disorders, that would have contributed to a volatile cocktail. He grows up
into an adult thinking throwing temper
tantrums, being arrogant, aggressive, abusive or violent can :
* Get what he wants, because others are
scared and others will do what he asks of them
* Gain control over the less
powerful or timid people around him
* Get his point across.
* Dominate and suppress
the other person giving a great sadistic thrill or a sense of power.
* Punishing the vitcim by withdrawing, refusing to speak and showing neglect can get what he wants.
He cannot accept a 'No' for an answer. It’s what he
wants that matters most. When a person
is angry, he goes to many disturbing extent to get what he wants, even if it
means hurting those closest to him verbally or physically. When he is angry, no
one or nothing matters, suddenly those concerned who he is dealing with becomes
his ‘enemies’ and they are 'responsible' for his erratic behavior. In order to get his ‘point’
or ‘wish’ across, he may even throw things, and break valuables. To an angry
person, it’s always the other person’s fault, never his. He likes to literally make his victim(s) feel
that they are wrong and so deserve being ill-treated or humiliated or abused. Most angry people also involve in risky behaviour.
A lot of women silently suffer humiliation, abuse and
insults at the hands of spouses who are habitually prone to anger. Anger is all about power, it’s a game of power
and control. A person is mostly in his senses and he chooses to ‘get angry’ to
get what he wants. He doesnot want to discuss, or take other's suggestions and views in a civil manner. The same angry person
can have a totally different side to
himself; a charming, sweet spoken side,
which he uses to manipulate others.
After an anger outbreak episode, he can be quite nice to the victim
which makes the victim feel confused and actually accept his temper tantrums
bringing herself to believe it’s her fault and she silently accepts and relents
to his character ‘to make everything alright’. She is scared to 'piss him off'. What a victim should realize is, It’s never alright and it will
never be alright'. Anger based abuse is still abuse, no matter what. Either the perpetrator
gets psychiatric help or the victim should get herself out of her destitution. People who have bi-polar disorder also exhibits the same patterns.
If someone humiliates,
screams, behaves nasty, verbally puts
you down, scares you, or your views are
looked down upon, or abuses you, break things etc., you have to realize it not
healthy, its not right, you don't have to accept it, and you deserve better.
Speaking up for yourself, protecting your interests, rights and your
sanity of mind is of utmost importance.
As for angry people, get help...sooner the better, don't hurt those around you and destroy their lives.
