Sunday, 9 September 2012


There is a minority of people you might know, who has a penchant for speaking or behaving in an annoying way. They can literally drive others mad. What do you do? You can't even avoid some of them. It might be a colleague you detest and each time you have to interact with this person, you hope he or she won't open their mouth lest you get annoyed. It could be a friend who trumpets and boasts endlessly about things that aren't even true just to show off and feel important because actually they have a problem in their head or in their life and they are miserable. It could be a relative who invariably never fail to annoy you, but you exercise immeasureable patience out of civility. It could be parents who don't do anything about their screaming child or baby while you are dining in a restaurant. Or someone who talks so loud on the mobile while you are watching a movie in the theatre. I honestly feel like laughing as I type this because seriously...what do you do?. I am too civil to say, 'please shut up and get lost'. But the thought does cross my mind in certain 'situations'.

It started off as a beautiful day yesterday, until I had an annoying encounter with an annoying friend, just when I have been doing some conscious work towards tolerance, choosing to react wisely in difficult situations, as I believe your choice of how you  react makes a huge difference in how positively or negatively things turn out. After the phone call, I thought, what was she? An alien who missed her spaceship and got lost on earth because her behavior was certainly not earthly - unfathomable!  I needn't have given my energy away. Actually I never reacted, just that I felt bad inside at several things this person said to me. What should I have done? I should have cut the call short the moment I felt annoyed or felt my energies being drained. One thing I must I say is, don't entertain toxic people, who you can do without. You don't have to let them feed on your energy, eat your brains or drain you out. Don't waste your time thinking about why someone said or did that, because, people say or do things or behave in a certain way, as they deem right and it has nothing really to do with you. It's got to do with them, their emotions, their difficulties, their shortcomings, their inability to be positive. They are insensitive and lack manners. All they know is to annoy others, just to feel better about themselves - some of them do it knowingly, and some don't even know they are being annoying.

Do yourself a favor. Work consciously on choosing how to react in difficult situations with annoying people. Don't get angry or argue, snap back or retort or compete in their game. You won't win - you will just end up feeling terrible. So don't give away your energy. Don't allow your moods and mind to be controlled by their negativity. Calm yourself when you know you are getting upset. When you don't react and keep calm, annoying people kind of get confused, become lost, they sort of stop. I met this young man who speaks so calmly even with the most annoying people - I was amazed. And they back off! You can say calmly what you want to say - make it short and simple, then, choose to walk away, by telling you have things to do or you're busy so you don't have to be a victim. Talk the least to annoying people and only what's necessary. Honestly speaking, majority of people around us are nice, kind, helpful, generous..... - it's just the minority - a few who are annoying. Now should you allow one person to ruin your day? don't have to. You can retreat to your beautiful life peacefully, leaving the annoying person to himself (or herself).

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