Thursday, 20 February 2014


Not that I wasn't aware of the perils of offering unsolicited advice, I tend to believe, the sometimes unsolicited advice I offer, out of my genuine concern for people I care for, will be received in a good way and will help them. Today I learnt a big lesson. I must refrain from offering any more unsolicited advice. I thought I was offering a smart suggestion, when I gave a person I consider very dear,  a certain advice. And it wasn't very well received at all. Gosh,  I realized at once, that no matter how much we care for those around us, we need to exercise restraint from offering people advice, unless asked for. People share their joy or woes because they consider you  important enough to share them with. Most of the time, they don't need any advice. They just want you to be a good listener and let them know you are there for them. An unsolicited advice is like not believing or trusting their ability to do what's best for them. Sometimes unsolicited advice can be perceived by recipient as critical, harsh or unloving and can play like bad music somewhere in the back of their mind. We must also remember, no matter how much we think we 'know', everyone does not have the same degree of emotional framework.  We shouldn't look at people as a mirror image of us where we can expect them to think and feel the way we do. Most people know what's best for them really and they need to make their journey trusting their decisions. 

We have no right to permit ourselves to give advice and suggestions unless asked for, or if you know the great difference between when to offer an opinion or advice and when not to.

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