Thursday, 27 September 2012


We spend a fair amount of time each day talking to so many people around us. What do we really talk about? What does the content of our communcation revolve around? Now this is other than work. What I am talking about is communication on a personal level. We talk the same old way to our families, friends, co-workers and even make the same fleeting conversations with sales persons in supermarkets and department stores. Pay attention to your conversation and what you choose to communicate about. What is the message you are giving out about yourself constantly? Do you find yourself talking about interesting things or events, positive things, and some of it even laced with humor? Or each time you talk, you are gossiping about others on matters you heard through the grapevine which you are not even sure of, complaining about trivial things which need not be blown out of proportion, bragging to prove that you are way bigger than those around you, or your conversation is laced with frustration or negativity?

If your conversation is laced with negativity, frustration, continuous complains or whining, it's like being an energy vampire, sucking people's energy, leaving them tired and depleted, which is actually a terrible thing to do to them and yourself. Share your problems with your family or close friends. Those who truly care will point out your mistakes rather than agree or support anything wrong you do. Be wise to consider the essence of all the good advice and then stop right there. Don't keep unloading on them non-stop as if your friends and family are some trash cans.  Remember everyone is fighting their own battle. If you look deep into some of the people's lives, your problems might be nothing or almost insignificant compared to theirs. Avoid gossiping about other people, for you are not in their shoes and do not know if what you are gossiping about might be true or half true or not even true. Other people's lives are their business and not yours. I have a friend who brags non-stop. I don't know if I should call her a friend, for most of her grandeur stories are false and fabricated to create an 'impression'. People who brag non stop can be boring, and intolerable after a while. One doesnot have to brag to impress. Just be who you are. People can see right through you. Worst of all, never carry your personal problems to work, and whine to your boss and co-workers. That will put you in bad spot or reflect on your negatively for you might be misunderstood and misconstrued as emotionally unfit to do justice to your work.

Most of the time, you can work on your inner self, address whatever issues you face and the solutions and answers you seek would be right within you. Sometimes, a change of attitude or perspective or compromise can alter many difficult situations. If there is something you can't do anything about, be patient, some problems just go away on their own as time always changes so many things. For your own emotional wellness and to cultivate a healthy attitude and mindset, and to be brimming with positive energy, be mindful of your communication. No one likes to be around a person who is habitually negative, full of woes and unending saga of complaints and frustrations, or a braggart, as if the whole world revolves around them. Just that sometimes people are too polite to tell you, 'That's enough, stop complaining so much, we have our own problems.' Mindfulness in communication will bring peace and happiness in you, improve your confidence and make you feel empowered, erase many of the negativities in your life,  and you know what, some of that positivity will rub on to others as well.

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