Wednesday, 29 February 2012


Where does family time feature in your 1 to 10 list of priorities?(Top/ middle/ last)
Family involvement is the best investment you can make. In a loving, caring and nurturing family, a child grows up to deal with relationships, cope with situations and learns important values that helps the child grow into a  healthy  individual.

Do you and your spouse spend time together with your children everyday?( Yes/No)
If it's a yes, then wonderful, if it's No, then make time.

What about the weekends? you take your children out to places where all of you can enjoy and have a fun time? (Yes/No)
Your children would adore you if it is a yes, if not...makes some changes and take them out. It's an important way of bonding and teaching your children how valuable family time is and how important they are to you. 

Does your child communicate with you without fear or inhibitions? (Yes, always/ Not really)
If yes, you and your child are on the right track. No? then something is wrong. Are you too strict? Talk to your child, bring your child to share his/her feelings and thoughts without being judgmental or critical. Children should not be 'afraid' of parents. 

Do you teach your child family values, traditions and rituals? (Yes/ No)
Children are good at imitating. It is the parents' behavior which children are exposed to everyday, that mostly influence their growing years  till they turn into adults. Children are silent observers. Make sure you set a good example through the behavior you exhibit or choices you make. Teach your children your family traditions and rituals;  to respect elders, to be courteous, to follow etiquette and manners, patience and accept the differences in others. 

Do you nurture your child's talents and gifts?(Yes/ No/ I don't know if my child has any talents)
As a parent it's one the beautiful things you can do - to nurture your child's gifts and talents. You don't know or haven't truly cared to know if you are not aware of any hidden talent or gift in your child. So find out.

Do you and your spouse fight in front of children? (Yes / No)
That's a terrible thing to do actually. Children actually hate to see their parents fight. Settle your differences or issues without showing disrespect , restrain from yelling, screaming, and    don't use profane language. Discords should be settled privately, without dragging the children into it. Don't complain about your spouse to your children. Sometimes a child can grow up to resent a certain parent due to lack of true understanding. 

Is your child attending classes for dance, singing, musical instrument or art lessons? (Yes/No)
Involving your child in a hobby is very essential. It's anytime better than the child being stuck to video games or the T.V. or cell phone or unlimited internet surfing.

Do you only give importance to their education? (Yes, that's the most important thing/ I teach them values, get them involved in sport and other interesting activities besides education).
Education is important, but besides that, teaching values, involving them in creative hobbies,  sport, teaching them life skills and simple things like getting them to help around in the house will make them talented,  confident and self reliant individuals.  

Does it bother you if they get less grades? (Yes definitely /Not really, but I'd check if my child is having difficulty with a particular subject or teacher and the underlying reason and try to help in a positive way)
If the grades drop considerably, it's time to investigate what's going wrong, if it's not a huge drop, don't worry. If it's less than a competitor's grade, don't worry. If your child is disinterested in school work - it's time to talk to your child and teachers and find out what's happening. Some children may be good at math but not language, may be good in science but not math. So try to realize that it may not be possible for your child to be great in all subjects like your friend's child.  It's not the child's fault. Each child is built differently. So don't compare. Help the child in a nice way to understand and cope with a difficult subject.

Do you know who your children's friends are? (Yes /No/ Not really/ Just a few)
No? Find out! Get to know your child's friends by inviting them over. Get to know their parents....your child's friends can influence your child's behavior, attitude and even aspiration and personality in negative or positive way.  Encourage your child to keep good company.

Do you encourage your child to read stories or children's novels? (Yes / No)
There is nothing more beautiful than encouraging a child to read!

How does your child spend his or her leisure time (playing with friends/ always in front of the T.V./ Facebook/ surfing the net/ reading - novels, stories/ music/ art like drawing or painting/  craft/ video or computer games/ texting or talking on the cell phone/ don't know - my child shuts himself in his bedroom)
Please don't ignore if your child likes nothing better than sitting in front of the T.V. or computer or continuously talking on the phone or texting or playing video games all the time. It's absolutely unhealthy for a growing child. Get your child to do creative things instead.

Are you harsh with your child? Do you spank your child? Are you impatient with you child? (Yes/ No)
Being harsh, rude or overly critical, instilling fear or spanking can damage a child's spirits and constant ill treatment of the child can lead to personality disorders, aggressive and hostile and rash behavior when it grows up. Children find it difficult later on to love a difficult and tough parent. Forgive small mistakes and correct your child's wrong doing through constructive ways, by patiently explaining the need to follow rules, and by setting a good example yourself. 

Is your child is being bullied at school or in the neighbourhood? Do you sense a bully in your child; does he or she enjoy bullying and intimidating other children?
If your child is the victim, talk to the bullies or school authorities and bring it to an end. If your child is bullying others, or in company that bullies others,  don't tolerate it, put an end to it by making your child understand that he should respect other children and no one should be treated badly or cruelly and that's unacceptable and wrong. It's also true that parents who possess an arrogant or aggressive personality pass on their negative behavior onto the child who takes pleasure in bullying other children. Yes, it's a vicious cycle. 

When you observe your child, does he or she appear to you as a happy person / kind and  loving/ helpful/ understanding/ always complaining/ never satisfied/ gets his or her way by throwing tantrums/ bossy/ getting into trouble/ difficult to deal with.
From this question, the answers are obvious! If you sense there is a communication gap, or your child is unhappy or sad or troubled, or has an anger or behavioral issue,  don't brush it aside, don't ignore. That's not the solution. Do involve yourself gently and try to find out and help your child. It's not just adults who have problems, even children do too!

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