Sunday, 12 June 2011

OFFICE HUMOUR



* We call our boss caterpillar.
He got where he is by crawling.

* My boss didn't come into work today. He called this morning and said he was having a vision problem. When I asked what was wrong, he replied, "I just can't see myself at work today."

* We the unwilling, led by the unqualified, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.

* If at first you don't succeed, delegate it

* The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

* To err is human, to forgive is Not Company Policy.

* Don't ask me I was hired for my looks.

* Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.

* No man goes before his time. Unless, of course, the boss leaves early. 

* Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?" The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?" And the HR Person replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

5 comments:

Vasumathi said...

HAHAHA Aunty this is sooooo HILARIOUS !! I m rolling on the floor laughin my head off ..Did u come up with all the jokes?

My Fav~ "We the unwilling, led by the unqualified, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful." & HR joke
:))

We are auditors said...

Good one to begin the week....

KUWEIGHT 64 said...

Vasu, no...these are not my jokes. Found them funny..so thought of sharing them on my blog.

KUWEIGHT 64 said...

We are Auditors, Thankyou for your comment.

Adam said...

Ha ha, those are very good!